Chapter 199 — Wounds of the Heart

The Beast Sovereign nodded. "Just so. You find it laughable too, I suppose? But on that day, it was for this very purpose. Linglong's mastery of witchcraft had already far surpassed the ancients; across the whole world there was scarcely a rival for her, and within the Wu clan all revered her as a god. In her idleness, the thing she set herself to do was to seek out another goal for herself. It sounds much like those cultivators of the Central Plains today—yet the riddle of eternal life is, after all, the Way of Heaven, and though she was a woman of peerless brilliance, she could never fathom it. At last, one day, she thought of an inhuman method."

"Inhuman."

"The span of a human life is always bounded. Even one who succeeds in cultivating the Way merely lives a few hundred years longer. But things that are not human often enjoy far longer lives, and the creative workings of heaven and earth, the baleful qi of yin and yang, and the like have endured undying since the world was first opened. Once she had thought of this, she devoted herself to diligent study, and in the end she actually managed, out of that which had no life at all, to create a self—me."

"She truly was remarkable," the woman said softly.

"Heh heh." The Beast Sovereign smiled faintly and said, "Yes, she truly was a remarkable woman. From the moment I came into this world, the first thing I saw when I woke was her. Then, through countless years, she was the only one in my world. Gradually I began to take form, and since my original body was born of the baleful qi of heaven and earth, once I had consciousness I naturally began to absorb the baleful qi around me and grow stronger by degrees."

"But she seemed to grow uneasy. The way she looked at me was no longer so warm, and when my strength finally grew enough that I could barely contend with her, from that day on she never smiled at me again."

"I was bewildered then, not knowing why. In truth I did not know why my strength grew so fast either, but what did strength mean to me? I only wanted—only wanted to be with her."

"You could have told her, and then she would have known, would she not?" the woman could not help saying.

"I did tell her, many times. Looking back now, it was probably much like a child acting spoiled to its mother." A faint smile appeared at the corner of the Beast Sovereign's mouth, but it vanished again. "But she never once believed me!"

The woman fell silent and said nothing for a long while. The Beast Sovereign was silent too, as if sunk in memory.

The flames still burned in the brazier, trembling gently in midair, as though also catching their breath.

Time seemed to have halted its steps in this dark place—prick up your ears and listen!

The years gone by are ice that has frozen memory fast; bit by bit it melts, and then slowly vanishes.

Who can call it back?

You, or I? Or are we all, in truth, creatures gasping and running through the light of time, who can never outrun it, who age by degrees and vanish into that shadow—

"At last, one day, I no longer wished to stay forever in that room where there was only her. I wanted to go out and see. That day she had been gone a long while and still had not returned. I broke the prohibition she had set, opened the door of her room, and walked out."

"There were many, many, many people. But every one of them, upon seeing me, screamed in terror, fled in fear for their lives. Somehow, from that moment I began to panic terribly, and then to rage, and at last I felt a baleful qi surging straight up in my heart. It was then that a dozen or so warriors, drawn by the commotion, began to rush at me to kill me. I parried as I retreated. I did not want to fight them. I regretted it bitterly. I only wanted to be with my Linglong. I had only wanted to come out for a look—"

"I pleaded desperately, explained desperately, but no one listened, until I killed the first man by mishap."

A long silence.

"That young warrior slumped in my hands, his head slowly drooping, bright red blood flowing from his body. I was stunned, and so were the others. Then they charged even more ferociously, and amid their curses and shouts I clearly heard weeping and wailing from somewhere far off—the warrior's kin, weeping! I did not know. But from the very first moment I laid eyes on blood, my body had already begun to change. That murderous impulse—it coiled about me like madness. I did not want to kill, but I could not control it, and so I struck. I killed."

"I killed many people, very many people." The Beast Sovereign lowered his head, but his voice went on.

"I stood in the pool of blood, not knowing how long I stood there, until I slowly came to my senses. Then I saw, in the distance, amid a throng of countless people, Linglong had returned. She looked at me, unblinking, staring at me fixedly, her face more ashen than words can tell. I do not know why, but I was terribly afraid. I felt I truly had done wrong, yet I did not know—I truly did not know what I had done wrong."

"Then Linglong struck. With her own hands she struck at me. I would not fight back. I wanted to explain to her, to tell her that I would never dare come out again, that I would stay in that room, that from then on I would only ever keep her company, and I would be content. Those words I said countless times, but she never once took them in."

"Her shamanic arts were beyond the reach of those common warriors. Soon my body was battered full of holes, yet each time a wound was dealt, it would of itself devour the baleful qi around it and heal, and even I could feel that each time Linglong struck me, my strength instead grew a measure faster. In the end Linglong discovered this too. Her face was like dead ashes, as though in despair."

The Beast Sovereign was still smiling, still remembering, though in the end a few shades of pain had entered his face: "Slowly I began to feel that Linglong truly hated me. She attacked me frantically with every kind of shamanic art. My body was undying and indestructible, but my heart truly ached. So in the end I ran away myself. And on the way as I fled, everyone I met was frightened out of their wits by me, until later I learned that in the eyes of those ordinary folk, the way I looked then was truly terrifying."

He gently patted the vicious beast Taotie crouching beside him and said, "The way I looked then was far uglier than it is."

"Leaving Linglong, I fled into the Ten Thousand Desolate Mountains. Before long I found this cave and settled here for a time. But I wanted to go back. With all my heart I only wanted to be with Linglong. So in the end I did go back, and what welcomed me was this formation."

The flames in the brazier gave a crackling sound, as though answering the Beast Sovereign's words.

"Never had I imagined that such a fearsome power could exist in this world. Linglong used the power of the Xuanhuo Mirror to lay down the Eight Fierce Mystic Fire Formation and summoned the Eight Desolations Fire Dragon. Beneath that blazing flame that consumes all things in heaven and earth, even I, with a body undying and indestructible, was burned until my vital essence was gravely wounded and my form utterly destroyed."

"I desperately told Linglong that I wanted nothing else, that I only wanted to be with her, but she seemed not to hear a word, only to burn me to death. In the end I fled in disorder and came back to this cave. I do not know why Linglong would treat me so, but I was unwilling to accept it—I truly wanted to be with her."

"After returning here, with the aid of the baleful qi of heaven and earth unique to the Ten Thousand Desolate Mountains, I recovered very quickly. Just as I meant to go quietly seek her again, she had already come after me. She brought seven so-called heroes and pursued me to this ancient cave. She came in herself and found me."